Monday, May 18, 2020

Till Sunbeams Find You

My Quarantine Nighttime Routine 


To begin one must separate hair into smaller sections. 
Take a small section and hold the hair straight from the scalp.
Roll each curler carefully; winding firmly not tightly and making sure that no hair escapes the curl. 
Clip curler closed at the base of the head. 


Carefully remove makeup using cold cream, coco nut oil, or a makeup wipe.

*Cue Palmolive commercial voice*

To bring beauty even while you sleep do what thousands of women all over the country are doing every day. Carefully apply  moisturizer morning and night for healthy, brighter looking skin. A lovely complexion is yours to win! 




Cover curlers with a nightcap or silk headscarf to ensure that curlers stay in place while sleeping.




And an excerpt from this not so shocking book that gave me a laugh

"The shock to a sensitive man's feelings, which now occurs, is likely to send him to a lunatic asylum for life.

The bride's head is covered with a network of large, shiny wire gadgets, resembling safety pins, much enlarged. They pull her hair so hard that her eyes are all squinched up. This alters her expression so much that he doesn't at first recognize her. She is wearing a pretty peignoir, over a new pink nightgown-- the costliest in her trousseau. But he doesn't even see these things. His eyes travel down from her hair to her face. And her face is like a leper's, as white as snow!

When the first shock passes, he realizes that this is the way she is going to look to him every night of their lives. He has heard about curlers and cream. But until he marries, no woman has dared to show them to him. His mother, his sisters, etc, have been too anxious to preserve his good opinion. His wife, on the other hand, feels free to behave naturally."

And why, my dear reader, shouldn't she?


Monday, May 4, 2020

To My Third Grade Self




 When I first looked at these pictures my first thought was delete. I look fat.

It took a conscious effort for me to stop myself from the internal refrain fat, fat, fat. A conscious effort not to delete.

And, if I would have taken these a year ago, they would be gone. Permanently erased because there's 'something wrong' with the body that I have. That curves mean cellulite and worth is measured in weight.

These are hard words to write because for so long I've surrounded myself in self-loathing and comparing my body type to what I thought I was supposed to look like.

It's interesting to me the words that we use and how often we treat weight as if it correlates with value. Greetings like 'you look so thin' and 'have you lost weight,' heightening this idea that when my body is thinner I look prettier. That's when the obsessive thoughts come. When I notice the flaws in my appearance and obsess over what I weigh, how I look. Body dysmorphia whispering over and over that word. Fat, fat, fat, fat. I'm anxious around those people, obsessively thinking about what I'm wearing and what I look like. Noticing as they watch out of the corner of their eye what I eat and what I don't eat until I feel anxious enough to throw up.

There are times when I look at my body and I see stretchmarks as signs of growth and scars as stories  and others where all I see is too much skin. There are times when my body has been happiest and healthiest at its heaviest. There have been times when anxiety and depression caused me to lose sleep, weight, and myself.

This year I would do 'dot your eye and cross your tea parties' when my little third graders passed off their cursive letters. There's nothing cuter than a group of 8 year olds gathered around a table practicing sipping apple juice through tea cups and daintily eating desserts, cucumber sandwiches, and whatever other delicacies I had on hand. It was during one of these parties that I noticed that one of my students wasn't acting like the others. While I was surrounded by students enjoying themselves, freely eating and chit chatting away she was quietly nibbling the same apple slice that she had been since the start of the party.

As the rest of the students slowly drifted out to recess she started chatting with me and eating at the lunch on her plate. I ate with her and we talked about all of the normal third grade things until she got very quiet.

"Miss Edgar... do you think I'm fat?"

It took me by surprise and instantly my heart ached. I asked her why she would ever ask that and she responded that a boy had told her at recess that she was a 'fatty.' Words have power. She told me that she watched the other kids eat and that she didn't eat more than they did.

In that moment I felt her pain and I understood more what my Mom must have felt all the times I have cried to her about my body.

Very, very carefully I chose my words. I told her about how her body was strong. How it helped her to move and how it helped her to learn. I told her how proud I was of her for reacting with kindness even when others were mean. We had been reading Wonder so we talked about Auggie and how what we look like doesn't matter, how we act is what matters. I hope that what I told her was what she needed to hear. I hope that she felt that her worth was less of what she looks like and more of who she is.

Ever since that conversation I have been trying to be more conscious of my internal monologue, thinking more of what I would say to my third grade self. I want to be a role model for my students of loving and accepting them and to do that I have to love and accept myself.

So here I am on this continuous journey of learning to love myself and instead of deleting my pictures deleting the mentality that there is something wrong me.

Outfit Details  
Hat:Vintage Estate Sale (?)
Dress: Vintage Thrifted $6
Salt water sandals (basically my favorite shoes since 1996): Saltwaters Website
Sweater: Thrifted, $3
Necklace: Vintage, Thrifted $1
Purse: Similar

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Picture In a Locket










A locket. 

Perhaps the most intimate thing that you can wear. Inside holds a moment- a captured memory of a loved one that you wear close to your heart to remember what you have, how you have grown. Grainy photographs of lovebirds forever locked away with the click of the clasp. 

I've always had an affinity for lockets. Something you wear that has a deeper meaning. A hidden secret that is precious to only you. I have had three memorable lockets in my life. 

The first was given to me by my names sake, Coco. Tiny, golden, and very delicate. A treasure because of the giver and for the moment in my life that represents. That locket will forever hold her picture. Coco was known for her legacy of love; her unconditional acceptance of all those she met. Her grace. She will always be with and I feel her love continually surrounding me. My mom has always said that "A heart is not measured by how much you love, but how much you are loved by others," and Coco was so loved.

I received the second while I was far away from family terribly homesick and tired. It came with a letter tied in green lace from my Momma. "My Dearest Daughter, My Own Cora. I love you always my precious Cora Noelle, Coco Birdy, Sweet Daughter and Darling of Mine." As I read the letter, so far from home, I clutched to my heart a locket containing Helge Knudsen Hogan. Helge was incredible. Her faith-- even amidst the most dire of times including the loss of multiple children-- astounds me. As my Mother wrote "As you bear this locket, think upon those who have gone before you, especially Helge. Think of her devotion to her husband and her love for her family. She was willing so sacrifice everything, her very life if need be, for her family." I bear the locket holding Helge's picture alongside my own knowing the significance it holds. 

And this, the third. A necklace that truly has no connection to me. During WWII sweetheart jewelry, including lockets, became increasingly popular. Jewelry that showed not only patriotism, but a certain amount of devotion and promise. When I saw this locket, with a broken clasp and fading pictures, my heart leapt. Though I have no connection to the couple my heart ached for them. Who were they? The locket says USN. United States Navy. Perhaps a locket given with a promise to return home? The promise not to forget? The promise that the wearer was someone to come home to? 

Though no connection of mine I wear this couple's locket so they will not be forgotten. I wear it and think of the love they must have shared hoping that someday I will have a sweetheart locket of my own. 

He gave you his picture in a locket
That you wore around your neck
Left it right beside your heart
So you would not forget
The way it felt when he held your hand
And you swore that you would never take it off
And the butterflies you felt said it all
You were falling for the boy inside your locket
Back in forty three, the brown-eyed boy went overseas
And had to leave town for a little while
He swore he’d marry you
As soon as the war was through
You would be his wife
Standing in the pouring rain
You cried as you watched him ride away
But everyday
You had his picture in a locket
That you wore around your neck

Left it right beside your heart so you would not forget
Left it right beside your heart so you would not forget
-The Locket, Lauren Alaina 


Outfit details
Sweater: Thrifted, $4
Knit Skirt: Thrifted, 80's Vintage $4
Shoes: Thrifted, B.A.I.T $6
Hat: Local Vintage Shop $7.50
Purse: Thrifted, Vintage $3
Locket: Ebay, Vintage USN locket $12



Monday, July 22, 2019

Teacher's Pet

 So many emotions right now. I feel so overwhelmed and blessed.

I just completed my final year as a student at Utah State University. The past few months have been hard, stressful, and overwhelming. Most days I spend 12 hours on campus- class,  work, literacy clinic, night class- then would come home to continue with readings and homework creating an endless cycle of sleep deprived days and homework filled nights. Each assignment, paper, and reading has brought me closer to this day.

I've now graduated with a Bachelor's of Science in Elementary Education with a specialized emphasis in Deaf and Blind education. I graduated debt free and with a job lined up and I am so proud of myself and thankful for my time at Utah State. I would not be where I am today without the love and support of my family and friends.

This fall I will be teaching in a 3rd Grade classroom and I am so excited to share my progress, my excitement, and even my failures here.

I feel that over the past few years, especially with the introduction and rising popularity of Instagram, that blogging has fallen to the wayside. Who wants to read a long, drawn out post when two or three sentences attached to endless photographs or stories tend to do the trick. Many blogs, like mine, seem to have abruptly ended their writers moving on with their lives leaving behind their words and photographs like memories in a ghost town. It's almost sad the way that you grow to think you know someone and have it suddenly disappear without knowing the rest of their story But here I am, excited to share the ramblings that tend to fall solely in my journal. 
Future teachers of America












Right now my my focus is setting up my classroom and preparing for the school year. I had two amazing third grade teachers retire leaving me with all of their classroom materials, and in that regard I am so blessed. I have so many math manipulatives and adding their book collections to my own brought me so much joy.  I also had so much that I had to go through and determine if it is something worth keeping and taking up space. These pictures perfectly capture the transition or bringing in new things of my own and going through the old. 

There are some parts of my classroom that I absolutely love-- a wall of windows, pink doors, sink and drinking fountain in the room-- and parts that I could do without-- chalky pink/ grey carpet walls, the inability to have more than 50% of said walls covered, and the fact that my computer has to be set up in the back of the classroom... but I am excited to see this room transform into a space that I love and my students can learn and grow in. 

xoxo 

Cora Noelle 

















Tuesday, November 27, 2018

The Marsh

Last month, in the thickets of of exams, papers, lesson plans, and more homework than I could ever write about, the world seemed to pause for a moment. It started with a simple request "Take us to the water". And our professor so willingly obliged. Of the 24 in the class, only 8 arrived on that cool rainy morning. Unskilled hands maneuvered paddles and steered canoes through the beautiful Bear River. This is what I wrote in my little red canoe: 


10.23.18
 
For the first time in months I feel at peace. 
The rain droplets fall, kissing my forehead and nose creating chaotic ripples on the water. There's the song of humming crickets playfully chatting as they dance around each other. The murky water is a source of life-- for the splashing fish, the peaceful pussy willows.
 When we entered the water we were laughing not knowing where the water would take us, uncharted paths full of new adventures. 
Eight of us-- future teachers. 
Not knowing the paths our lives will take us or the ripples we will leave in our students lives. Overall-- this is the start of our great adventure. 












Monday, October 30, 2017

Miss Edgar

A few weeks ago my sweet practicum class wrote me  letters. After over a month of seeing this unique, silly, smart, and loving class nearly everyday I almost couldn't bear to leave. I learned their struggles, strengths, and innocent little cares. I have many sweet memories of each child in this class and their carefully written words and precious pictures touch my heart. 

Some of the most touching responses to me came from my students who struggled the most. These were the children that I cried over at night worrying about whether or not what I was doing was helping them. These were the students that brought happy tears to my eyes when they succeeded at reading. These were the students that I really needed and that really needed me. 

"Ms Edgar is nice! She reads with Me. She is helpful With math."
"Ms Edgar helps me. She smils. She plays with me." 
"Miss Edgar is nice! I lice when she playd With use. She is fun. She is the best. She is mi best friend. I will mis her so much" 
"Ms. Edgar you ar so prety.!!!!!! I am gowing to miss you. I love you Ms. Edgar. I like when you plad with us."
"Ms. Edgar is nice! She brings us treats. She also I like when she is a friend. She is cool."
"Ms Edgar us NICE! Sh is my favrit. I like her, I like when she is here. Ms Edgar is NICE!"
"Ms. Edgar is nice! She help me. She is awesome. I like wen she is a god friend."
"Miss Edgar is nice! she is awesome, she helps us. She also plas with me. We will miss her so much. The end." 



My darling students-

You are smart. You are creative. You are important. Your words and thoughts have power and meaning. You can change the world. 

Students, when you laugh I laugh. When you cry, I cry. When you struggle I will be with you no matter what. When you are learning you are teaching me far more than I could ever teach you. Your stories, your thoughts, and your cares touch me. 

You are my happiness! All of my students; past, present, and future, have influenced me and formed me into the woman that I am today. Your little stories and smiles make me laugh and bring such a light into my life! You are all my best friends. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for trusting me, for forgiving me when I mess up, and for all the love you give unto me no matter what. 

With all my love and smiles 

Miss Edgar 






Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Home Sweet Home



It's hard to believe that this beautiful woman beside me has been out serving the Lord for the past 18 months. Tomorrow she comes home and oh how much joy she brings with her!

Anna has been my best friend since birth. She is the cousin I spent countless summers with and have more inside jokes with than any other person. Anna makes me laugh, cry, and truly realize my Heavenly Father's hand in my life.


Anna's selfless service on her mission this past year and a half has truly been an example to me. She is full of love and light and those she has taught have seen that! I truly aspire to be like Anna, and I cannot wait to see her again!



Outfit Details:
Hat: Gift
Dress: Vintage, thrifted

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

It's Elementary Darling


I'm back, at least for now.  

If I've learned anything from this past year and a half, it is that you can never truly know what to expect from life, and just as soon as you think that you have everything exactly the way that you want it to be-- things change.

This semester has been crazy! I'm taking 18 credits, working, and trying to balance, sleep, callings at church, and club involvement and often I feel like I have no control over my life and what is happening in it. I hardly have time to breathe, and sleep truly has become a thing of the past.

But, lately I've been learning that no matter the situation you have to make time for joy.



In my life I have dealt with a lot of stress and anxiety-- It's just a part of my personality. I joke with my close friends that my brother Matthew was born a warrior, and I was born a worrier. This semester it seems like all of this worry and stress has compounded leaving me with a deep set anxiety.

Last week I reached one day when I was at a breaking point. Just when I felt that I couldn't deal with it all anymore and wanted to let go of everything that was worrying me, even in the slightest a friend gave me some wonderful advice.

He gave me three rules to follow.

1. Breath when you feel overwhelmed
2. Focus on what you can change; ignore what you cannot
3. Relax. Go out with friends and family when you feel anxious and overwhelmed

Although simple there three things have really grounded me these past few days, and I've been able to see how much of a strength my friends are to me. I feel like so often I go through my life trying to carry all of my worries, stresses, and anxieties inside me because I don't want to be a burden to another, but this semester especially I've been able to see what a strength my friends are. Just as I am there for them-- THEY ARE THERE FOR ME-- and they want to help me, I just have to let them in.

This weekend I went home (rule #3) and as always the light and love found in my family filled and rejuvenated me. While home my little sister, Sasha, asked me about why I no longer blog. Honestly that answer was easy. I don't have time. But, this is something I truly love. A way to express myself through word and photographs, and it's something that I love. So for this... I will try to make time.

There is joy to be found in little things, even in the most trying of times, and for that I am so thankful! I am thankful for journals, little notes from my students, inspiring quotes on Instagram, finished to do lists, random dance parties, laughing in the early hours of the morning even though you have gotten four hours of sleep in the last two days, for sisters and for mothers, for love that stretches across state lines, and for the promise that comes while spring is in the air!

I'm glad to be back.


Outfit Details:
Glasses: Vintage (Dad's from the 80's-- they used to be Sun glasses, but I popped out the dark lenses and filled them with my prescription instead)
Dress: Vintage, thrifted
Shoes: But Another Innocent Tale, thrifted
Circle Ring: Forever 21
Triangle Ring: Rue 21

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Sunshine




It has rained every day since I've been at the lake (as a matter of fact it started raining while these were being taken), but it's been a while since I have had this much sunshine in my life. Bear lake is my safe haven, each time I'm here I feel so at peace. I am able to reflect on who I am and where I am going and marvel at the beauty all around me. This place brings me so much joy. 



This is were I'm supposed to be, and I'm ready for what this summer holds. 

I've realized lately that everyone is dealing with their own personal struggles, and what may not seem hard at all for me can be someone else's greatest struggle. We all suffer from disappointments, broken hearts, physical and mental illnesses, and moments of hurt and confusion. We are all carrying our own personal burdens, yet so often we tear each other down. In the midst of our clouds of doubt we forget to lend hands of compassion. When we forget to see the sunshine we often forget that we can be the sunshine in another's life. 

I want to bring the sunshine with me. I want to be a source of happiness to others by knowing myself and loving who I am and the woman I am becoming. I want to help others on their journey as they help me on mine. Life isn't meant to be walked alone, we're all just walking each other home. So let's be a little kinder, a little more understanding, and a little more loving. 



Outfit Details: 
Headscarf: Vintage 
Top: Forever 21 (from cousin Didi)
Dress: Ross
Shoes: Hand me down from a friend 




Thursday, May 19, 2016

Her Heart Could Never Settle In A Cage



I have officially completed one year of college and I am overwhelmed with the emotions that this brings. I have grown so much in this past year and I am proud of myself. When I came to Utah State I was afraid. I was scared that I wouldn't meet anyone, scared that I wouldn't belong, and scared that I would lose who I am. 

It's overwhelming to think of what I have done this year in regards to my own personal growth. And as my Mom loves to refer to it-- I've realized that I have wings and I love using them. I'm realizing who I am and I am finding myself . This summer I've set out on another adventure- Instead of returning home  I am staying in Bear Lake and working. 



In a recent post I wrote about how I feel everything on a deeper level than most, and this year I've really felt that in regards to my heart. I think that there are so many ways in which we feel- different ways that we give each other our hearts- and that takes a lot of trust. Giving someone your heart in any way makes you vulnerable. And when I give my heart to someone I give it without looking back. I love without condition and forgive even when others don't deserve it.

And before this year, I don't think that I've ever really fallen in love. This year I fell in love and it hurt. It wasn't meant to be, and for a long time my heart was broken. I trusted this boy. We were best friends and he knew everything about me from my fears to my sense of humor. I told him everything and he told me everything, until one day that changed. I was so hurt by him, but he still was holding my heart, and I couldn't help but forgive him. That's the way I am- I cannot help but forgive and forgive completely. I learned that I can forgive- but I have to forget.

I love the poet r m drake and this poem truly struck me:

She was never crazy. 
She just didn't want her heart to settle in a cage.

My heart was never meant to settle in a cage. I'm tired of being trapped and being hurt, and I'm setting myself free. This summer will be a time to find myself and I couldn't possibly be more excited. 




Outfit details:
Hat: Borrowed from sister (F21)
Dress: Ross
Tights: Forgotten
Shoes: Thrifted





Friday, March 4, 2016

Grey Gardens

               
                              “This is the best thing to wear for the day. You understand. Because I don't like women in skirts, and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants… under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt, and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants, underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for the day.” (Grey Gardens, "Grey Gardens Transcript"). I watched captivated as Drew Barrymore spun in a circle reciting the famous lines of Edith Bouvier Beale. She was dressed in a turtle neck with a dark scarfed carefully wrapped around her head and pinned in place with a large broach. Her costume was completed with a pair of dark panty hose and a stretch of cloth pinned together as a skirt. The outfit was odd, but somehow I felt connected to the woman who in desperation came up with it. Immediately I fell in love with the heart wrenching story of Edith Bouvier Bealse—Little Edie—and began to learn more of her story. Edie’s story is captivatingly tragic, and as I have learned of her she has become an inspiration to me in writing, fashion, and bravery.

Image Source- Huffington Post (Adams). 

               My first introduction to Edie was through Drew Barrymore’s portrayal of her in the 2009 movie Grey Gardens. The movie was a depiction of Edith Bouvier Beale’s life, and her relationship with her mother. It showed her and her mother who shared the same name causing them to be referred to as Little Edie and Big Edie.  The movie enthralled me. Perhaps I saw it like Little Edie when she stated “[Grey Gardens] is oozing with romance, ghosts, and other things” ("Fascinating Facts & Quotable Quotes"). I was captured in the fashion, charisma, and story of Little Edie and her life at Grey Gardens, and the more I have learned about Edith the more I have wanted to share her story.

               Edith Bouvier Beale was born on November 7, 1917 in Manhattan, New York to the elite socialite couple Phelan Beale and Edith Bouvier ("About Little Edie"). She lived a life of luxury – the type of lifestyle only the elite could afford. As a young child Edith was doted on by her mother, and they developed a close relationship that would stand the tests and trials of time. Little Edie attended Spence School—a private school for the wealthy in New York ("About Little Edie") —but was pulled out of school for two years when she was eleven by her Mother for a mysterious respiratory illness (Sheehy). While little Edie was supposedly too ill to go to school she spent her days with her mother visiting plays and “talkie” movies nearly every day (Sheehy). As Edith grows older it is clear to see that these films played a large role in who she hoped to become and her bold personality.

     Perhaps the best way to understand Little Edie is through her own words. In 1929 Edith began recording her thoughts and feelings in a personal journal (Counter). Here she recounts her day to day life and her feelings about herself. In a self-description Little Edie wrote "I can’t really tell you if I am pretty or what kind of girl I am but … I have long hair, blonde, getting darker, deep blue eyes, a pug nose and a rather decided mouth. I am by no means fat, but I have a good body and big feet.”(Sheehy). Although Little Edie’s physical description of herself enables us to recreate a picture of her in our minds perhaps the most defining characteristic of Edith was her personality. Of this she wrote "I only mark the hours that shine" (Counter). As Little Edie grows older and her tragic story begins, it becomes evident that Edie truly does mark only the hours that shine. Her positive personality and bravery enabled her to get through her bleak future at Grey Gardens.
              
     Little Edie’s diary is also essential in giving us the first glimpse into Little Edie and Big Edie’s relationship, and Little Edie’s aspirations. When writing of her love for her mother Little Edie journaled- "I have two great loves in my life. First, I love my mother, which will always go on, never be forgotten or forsaken. Most children think that mother love is a thing taken for granted, isn’t it?”(Sheehy). She continues, emphasizing how her love for her mother supersedes all other loves she will ever have even her second ‘great love’ for a boy. Edie also records in her diary her hopes and dreams of becoming an author, dancer, and costume designer. In a moment of eleven year old wisdom uncommon in her time Edie wrote, “Have I really got brains enough to get away from marriage and children?” (Counter). Edie’s sentiments here are surprising for her time. Edie saw a future for herself outside of what many women of her time were able to see. In Rosemary Counter’s review of Edie’s published journal she states “sadder than cruel irony is lost potential” (Counter).This is perhaps another reason Little Edie caught my attention so fully. She was so beautiful, talented, and charismatic, yet she put aside her own future because of her love for her mother.
Image Source- Huffington Post (Adams). 

Image Source- Huffington Post (Adams). 

Image Source: Huffington Post (Laden). 


               In 1935 when Little Edie was 17 years old she graduated from Spence- a private school for the wealthy- in New York. After her graduation Edie was introduced to society. Edie was commonly known as the “It” girl with her blond hair and tall beautiful figure; her beauty earned her the name of “Body Beautiful Beale” from her many suitors. In her youth Edith was even considered more beautiful than her cousin, the future Jaqueline Kennedy. ("About Little Edie").

            As I look at photographs of Little Edie I am enthralled. Her personality seems to shine through her modeling and I imagine who the girl in the photograph was. As Edie’s story continued I learned that she was at one point a model for Macy’s, until her father demanded she stop (Sheehy). Edith, however, had big dreams. She planned to audition for Max Gordon, a famous Broadway producer, and become a star (Sheehy). Unfortunately Edith never had the opportunity to audition. When asked why she was unable to audition years later she detailed “Mother got the cats. That’s when she brought me down from New York to take care of them." (Sheehy). Little Edie’s love for her mother changed her life, and ultimately forced her to abandon her dreams.

Image Source- Huffington Post (Laden). 

Image Source- Huffington Post (Adams). 

               In Edie’s diary she recorded “It’s awfully funny the way things change. Life wouldn’t be life without change” (Counter), words ominously profound for an eleven year old girl. Little Edie’s life drastically changed in the following years. Phelan Beale divorced Big Edie through telegram, leaving her with little hope and even less money (Sheehy). All Big Edie had was her daughter, whom she desperately clung to, and her estate.
 
Image Source: Huffington Post (Laden). 

               In the following years Little Edie and her mother, unable to maintain the Grey Gardens, fell into a state of squalor. The Beale women lived in a state of poverty and filth. Their house was overrun with raccoons and cats and was covered in a layer of animal feces and garbage. (Grey Gardens). It was only after Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis intervened with a $25,000 check for a cleanup that the Beale women’s conditions began to improve (Sheehy). Jackie Kennedy also assisted her aunt and cousin with maintaining the property, gas and water bills, and a small sum for food ("Fascinating Facts & Quotable Quotes").
 
Image Source- Huffington Post (Adams). 


     I cannot describe the emotions that streamed through me as I watched Little Edie in the documentary Grey Gardens. Although she seemed to be leaving in the most horrific circumstances she sang, danced, and took care of her mother. Gail Sheehy, a neighbor to Grey Gardens, provided a vivid description of the first moment he saw Edit: “A middle-aged woman was coming through the catalpa trees, dressed for church but most oddly: a sweater wrapped around her head and her skirt on upside down. Her face was oddly young, as if suspended in time, faintly freckled and innocent, but painted with thick dark lipstick and heavy eyeliner” (Sheehy).  Perhaps Edie can be best described through the words of her dedicated fans. She was “faded but still beautiful, defeated yet invincible” (Broverman).

 
Image Source: Huffington Post (Adams). 

               To this day Little Edie’s legacy endures in the form of documentary, film, play, photographs, and even a fashion line inspired by the Beale women (Laden). Edith has changed my view of fashion and clothing. She has taught me that what matters is not what others think of you—but of what you think of yourself. Edith has shown me to make do with what I have, and that if you are beautiful inside it will be reflected no matter what you are wearing. Her beautiful legacy of selflessness, bravery, and ever enduring love inspires me. Little Edie truly is a legacy.
Image Source: Huffington Post (Adams). 





Works Cited



Broverman, Neal. "Tending Grey Gardens." Advocate 978 (2007): 66. Academic Search Premier. Web. 4 Mar. 2016.

Counter, Rosemary. "I Only Mark The Hours That Shine, Little Edie's Diary 1929." Maclean's 123.33/34 (2010): 87-88. Academic Search Premier. Web. 4 Mar. 2016.


Grey Gardens. Maysles, David, Albert Maysles, Ellen Hovde, Muffie Meyer, Susan Froemke, Edith B. Beale, and Edie Beale. Portrait Films, 1975. Documentary.