Sunshine

It has rained every day since I've been at the lake (as a matter of fact it started raining while these were being taken), but it's been a while since I have had this much sunshine in my life. Bear lake is my safe haven, each time I'm here I feel so at peace. I am able to reflect on who I am and where I am going and marvel at the beauty all around me. This place brings me so much joy. 

This is were I'm supposed to be, and I'm ready for what this summer holds. 

I've realized lately that everyone is dealing with their own personal struggles, and what may not seem hard at all for me can be someone else's greatest struggle. We all suffer from disappointments, broken hearts, physical and mental illnesses, and moments of hurt and confusion. We are all carrying our own personal burdens, yet so often we tear each other down. In the midst of our clouds of doubt we forget to lend hands of compassion. When we forget to see the sunshine we often forget that we can be the sunshine in another's life. 

I want to bring the sunshine with me. I want to be a source of happiness to others by knowing myself and loving who I am and the woman I am becoming. I want to help others on their journey as they help me on mine. Life isn't meant to be walked alone, we're all just walking each other home. So let's be a little kinder, a little more understanding, and a little more loving. 

Outfit Details: 

Headscarf: Vintage 

Top: Forever 21 (from cousin Didi)

Dress: Ross

Shoes: Hand me down from a friend 

Her Heart Could Never Settle In A Cage

I have officially completed one year of college and I am overwhelmed with the emotions that this brings. I have grown so much in this past year and I am proud of myself. When I came to Utah State I was afraid. I was scared that I wouldn't meet anyone, scared that I wouldn't belong, and scared that I would lose who I am. 

It's overwhelming to think of what I have done this year in regards to my own personal growth. And as my Mom loves to refer to it-- I've realized that I have wings and I love using them. I'm realizing who I am and I am finding myself . This summer I've set out on another adventure- Instead of returning home  I am staying in Bear Lake and working. 

In a recent post I wrote about how I feel everything on a deeper level than most, and this year I've really felt that in regards to my heart. I think that there are so many ways in which we feel- different ways that we give each other our hearts- and that takes a lot of trust. Giving someone your heart in any way makes you vulnerable. And when I give my heart to someone I give it without looking back. I love without condition and forgive even when others don't deserve it.

And before this year, I don't think that I've ever really fallen in love. This year I fell in love and it hurt. It wasn't meant to be, and for a long time my heart was broken. I trusted this boy. We were best friends and he knew everything about me from my fears to my sense of humor. I told him everything and he told me everything, until one day that changed. I was so hurt by him, but he still was holding my heart, and I couldn't help but forgive him. That's the way I am- I cannot help but forgive and forgive completely. I learned that I can forgive- but I have to forget.

I love the poet r m drake and this poem truly struck me:

She was never crazy. 

She just didn't want her heart to settle in a cage.

My heart was never meant to settle in a cage. I'm tired of being trapped and being hurt, and I'm setting myself free. This summer will be a time to find myself and I couldn't possibly be more excited. 

Outfit details:

Hat: Borrowed from sister (F21)

Dress: Ross

Tights: Forgotten

Shoes: Thrifted