Her Heart Could Never Settle In A Cage

I have officially completed one year of college and I am overwhelmed with the emotions that this brings. I have grown so much in this past year and I am proud of myself. When I came to Utah State I was afraid. I was scared that I wouldn't meet anyone, scared that I wouldn't belong, and scared that I would lose who I am. 

It's overwhelming to think of what I have done this year in regards to my own personal growth. And as my Mom loves to refer to it-- I've realized that I have wings and I love using them. I'm realizing who I am and I am finding myself . This summer I've set out on another adventure- Instead of returning home  I am staying in Bear Lake and working. 

In a recent post I wrote about how I feel everything on a deeper level than most, and this year I've really felt that in regards to my heart. I think that there are so many ways in which we feel- different ways that we give each other our hearts- and that takes a lot of trust. Giving someone your heart in any way makes you vulnerable. And when I give my heart to someone I give it without looking back. I love without condition and forgive even when others don't deserve it.

And before this year, I don't think that I've ever really fallen in love. This year I fell in love and it hurt. It wasn't meant to be, and for a long time my heart was broken. I trusted this boy. We were best friends and he knew everything about me from my fears to my sense of humor. I told him everything and he told me everything, until one day that changed. I was so hurt by him, but he still was holding my heart, and I couldn't help but forgive him. That's the way I am- I cannot help but forgive and forgive completely. I learned that I can forgive- but I have to forget.

I love the poet r m drake and this poem truly struck me:

She was never crazy. 

She just didn't want her heart to settle in a cage.

My heart was never meant to settle in a cage. I'm tired of being trapped and being hurt, and I'm setting myself free. This summer will be a time to find myself and I couldn't possibly be more excited. 

Outfit details:

Hat: Borrowed from sister (F21)

Dress: Ross

Tights: Forgotten

Shoes: Thrifted